Wolves v Liverpool: Premier League – live | Premier League

69 min “The Premier League luddite obsession with integers is a disgrace,” says Paul Griffin. “What’s wrong with the Chaitin Constant on the back of a shirt. I wouldn’t say the game’s gone but it’s tending toward zero.”

Believe it or not, this started out as a live blog of a football match.

68 min Cunha shoots tamely wide from the edge of the area after beating Alexander-Arnold.

Wolves substitution Hwang Hee-chan replaces Jorgen Strand Larsen.

65 min Salah cuts inside Ait-Nouri on the edge of the area and curls a decent shot towards the far corner. Johnstone palms it up in the air and grabs the dropping ball.

63 min “Yes the SFA,” begins Dylan Drummond, and that’s the nicest thing he’ll say about them, “still embarrassing Scotland in front of the whole world as usual, this time banning zero, probably in the hope that the scope of the ban could be extended to the number of goals Scotland usually score in a game of football.

“In other (quite old) news, in 1962 the SFA justified not entering the European Nations Cup qualification phase on the basis that Scotland ‘already had sufficient commitments, and could not possibly undertake to play any additional matches’. In 1962, Scotland played three Home Championship matches and one friendly. End of rant.”

I could happily read a few more paragraphs; you’re on fine form.

62 min Konate fouls Cunha and is booked. He’s gone from hero to… what’s that number again?

61 min “Zero is certainly considered a number now, but the Europeans managed without it until the 13c when it was introduced from the Hindu-Arabic number system,” says David Sutherland. “Not sure what they did about football games where no one scored…”

GOAL! Wolves 1-2 Liverpool (Salah 61 pen)

59 min: Penalty to Liverpool! Alexander-Arnold curls an inswinging cross towards Jota, who gets the wrong side of Semedo and is pulled over via the neck. Softish but this won’t be overturned; you can’t be putting your hand around someone’s neck, even tenderly.

58 min There was a VAR check, possibly to see whether Strand Larsen fouled Konate, but the goal stands.

Konate, who gave Liverpool the lead, is at fault for the equaliser. Robertson made a good sliding tackle on Strand Larsen on the edge of the area, after which Konate tried to shepherd the ball back to Alisson. He stayed on his line, Strand Larsen picked Konate’s pocket and laid the ball back to Forbs. He made a complete mess of his shot, almost falling over in the process, but the ball ran across the six-yard line and was put into the net with glee by Ait-Nouri.

GOAL! Wolves 1-1 Liverpool (Ait-Nouri 56)

55 min Forbs, who spent eight years at Manchester City as a young player, might give Wolves a bit more energy in attack. They’ve faded badly after a promising start and look really short on confidence.

53 min: Wolves substitution Carlos Forbs replaces Jean-Ricner Bellegarde.

51 min It’s probably harsh to say Salah missed an open goal. It all happened so quickly and his effort was part-interception, part-snapshot. It only registers 2.4 on the Rosenthalometer.

50 min: Salah misses an open goal! Johnstone passes the ball to Lemina, who plays a blind square pass across the face of the penalty area. Salah nips in front of Toti, with the goal completely open because Johnstone is busy playing Pirlo, but his instinctive shot flashes just wide of the far post.

49 min Wolves also have some good attacking options on the bench, including Pablo Sarabia, Goncalo Guedes and Hwang Hee-chan. I was going to say Jorgen Strand Larsen has had a poor game but he’s been increasingly isolated so it’s probably not his fault.

48 min Cunha has switched to the left to take on Alexander-Arnold. Jean-Ricner Bellegarde, who didn’t have a great first half, has moved to the right.

47 min “Retired actuary here,” boasts Joe Pearson. “Zero is indeed a number, and possibly the most critical in base 10 mathematical systems. Also, it is undoubtedly a cool number to wear, as demonstrated by Boston Celtics star Jayson Tatum (and indeed, many others).”

It’s also a bloody brilliant song.

46 min Peep peep! Wolves begin the second half.

Half-time reading

“In the early noughties, during his three-year stay in Scotland, Moroccan international and Aberdeen cult hero Hicham Zerouali wore the number 0 as a nod to his nickname, which was then promptly banned from being used as a squad number by the killjoys at the SFA the following season,” says Simon McMahon. “If we can have goalkeepers wearing 99, and outfield players with No1, what’s the problem with 0? Unless you think it’s not a number..?”

If it’s not a number, what is it? A way of life? A state of mind?

Half time: Wolves 0-1 Liverpool

45+4 min Having got his hand to the ball, Johnstone might have done better there. It was a strangely weak attempt at a save.

Konate stayed up front when a Liverpool corner was only half cleared. Jota swerved away from Strand Larsen on the left and lifted a really good cross into the middle. Konate arrived between Bueno and Toti to thump a downward header through Johnstone’s left hand and into the net.

GOAL! Wolves 0-1 Liverpool (Konate 45+2)

45+1 min Salah controls a long ball beautifully and skips away from Toti, who makes an important recovery tackle in the area.

45 min Four minutes of added time.

42 min “I lived just off Newmarket Road 1989-1992, walking distance from the Abbey Stadium,” says Stephen Gibb. “John Beck’s Cambridge United almost cured my love of football for good.”

Any team that includes Dion Dublin can’t be that bad, surely.

40 min: Great chance for Liverpool! That’s an even better opportunity. Robertson’s perfect first-time cross is met by Szoboszlai, whose cushioned volley from six yards hits the inside of Johnstone’s leg and deflects behind for a corner. It’s a memorable save from Johnstone, and his footwork across his line was very good, but Szoboszlai really should have scored.

38 min Diaz seems to foul Andre in the Wolves area, but play continues and he overruns the ball while trying to cut inside the last defender. If that wasn’t a foul it was a great chance for Diaz.

38 min “And a decreasing number of people will remember John Beck as a cultured (yes, that’s right) midfielder at Fulham. Great choice of soundtrack by the way.”

It’s the cultured ones you’ve gotta watch.

36 min Oh, scratch that, Jota has been booked, as have a couple of people on one of the benches. We don’t yet know who it was, or even what bench they’re sitting on.

Edit: it was one on each bench, Shaun Derry for Wolves and Sipke Hulshoff for Liverpool.

35 min Jota’s studs catch Lemina on the Achilles. No yellow card but there’s a VAR check.

35 min Even without Darwin Nunez, who is unwell, Liverpool have plenty of attacking options on the bench should it stay like this: Gakpo, Chiesa, Jones, even Conor Bradley.

34 min “Maybe it’s the changing of the seasons or the passing of the years, but I feel a strange melancholy for our young people’s future…” says Tim Woods. “One in which no one drinks in pubs, no one watches Test cricket, and no one raises an immediately smile at a reference to John Beck’s Cambridge.”

32 min The free-kick is touched off to Alexander-Arnold, who rifles the ball straight at Johnstone. That’s Liverpool’s first shot on target.

30 min Andre is booked for a lunging tackle on Mac Allister just outside the Wolves penalty area. He got the ball but then caught the man as his studs slipped off the top.

29 min An extended spell of Liverpool possession ends when Alexander-Arnold’s cross just evades the stretching Jota on the six-yard line.