Abbaâs Björn Ulvaeus has married his partner in a ceremony officiated by the TV presenter Sandi Toksvig.
The 79-year-old Swedish singer, who has been married twice before, met Christina Sas in Nuremberg, Germany, in 2021 in connection with the release of Abbaâs latest album Voyage.
A post to his Instagram page said: âToday on the 21st of September 2024, Björn Ulvaeus married Christina Sas from Herning, Denmark. They met in Nurnberg in 2021 in connection with the release of Abbaâs last album Voyage and started dating in the spring of 2022.
âThe wedding took place in Copenhagen in the presence of close friends and family. Sandi Toksvig, Anne Linnet and Kaya Brüel generously performed and made the evening extra special.â
Ulvaeus posted photos from the day, one of which shows former Great British Bake Off host Toksvig dressed in a red robe. The presenter is standing next to Ulvaeus, wearing a suit, and his wife, wearing a muted green wrap dress.
Representatives for Ulvaeus confirmed to the PA news agency that Toksvig had held the ceremony.
Ulvaeus is known for being one-quarter of Swedish pop group Abba, who this year celebrated 50 years since they won the Eurovision song contest with Waterloo.
The group originally comprised two couples â Ulvaeus and Agnetha Fältskog, and Benny Andersson and Anni-Frid Lyngstad. Fältskog and Ulvaeus, who married in 1971, divorced in 1980, while Andersson and Lyngstad divorced in 1981 â a year before the band split.
The quartet did not reform to perform at Eurovision this year despite the event being held in Sweden after Loreen won the competition in 2023 with her hit single Tattoo. Ulvaeus was also previously married to Lena Kallersjö.
Kamala Harris laid down another challenge to Republican rival Donald Trump to meet her for a second debate before Novemberâs presidential election, telling supporters in New York that her opponent âseems to be looking for an excuseâ to avoid a second confrontation.
On Saturday, the vice-president and Democratic nominee said she had accepted an invitation from CNN to debate the former president, but Trump said it was already âtoo lateâ.
In her remarks at a New York fundraiser, Harris doubled down in her taunting of Trump over the issue, saying: âI think we should have another debate.â
âI accepted an invitation to debate in October, which my opponent seems to be looking for an excuse to avoid when he should accept,â she added. âHe should accept because I feel very strongly that we owe it to the American people, to the voters, to meet once more before election day.â
The question of the USâs high stakes presidential debates has hung over the candidates since Joe Biden dropped out of the race following a disastrous performance in June. The single scheduled debate between Trump and Harris, earlier this month, was widely viewed to have gone Harrisâs way and been a serious blow to Trump.
But it did not move the polls as much as the Harris campaign hoped and her campaign is still tasked with introducing her to US voters. Last week, Harris went on Oprah to help smooth the introduction along.
This week Harris is due to reveal a set of new economic policies. Polls show she is steadily gaining trust on the key issue of the economy, which often favors Trump and the Republican party.
On Sunday, Harris returned to the key themes of the message Democrats wish to underline â a threat to democracy they perceive a second Trump terms represents and the knife-edge that polls suggest the race remains balanced upon.
âThis is a man who said he would be a dictator on day one ⦠just imagine Donald Trump with no guardrails,â Harris said in New York. âThis race is as close as it could be. This is a margin of error race ⦠and I am running and we are running as the underdog.â
Harris called Trump an âunserious manâ, but said the consequences of putting him back in the White House were âvery seriousâ.
Head-to-head polls tend to show Harris with a narrow but solid lead over Trump, though the situation is more mixed in the crucial swing states that will decide the race to the White House. That is a reverse of the situation when Biden was in the race, where Trump had established a firm lead over the US president.
Russia was left badly isolated at a high-profile UN summit in New York when it made a surprise move to derail an ambitious pact designed to revive the UN – and failed.
Russia’s move to defer adoption of the agreement on the grounds that it supposedly represented western interests was rejected on Sunday by 143 votes to seven with 15 abstentions.
The Russian delegation said that if the planned vote endorsing the high-profile “pact for the future” were not deferred pending further talks, it would seek to move an amendment asserting the key issues addressed in the pact are the subject of domestic jurisdiction in which the UN should not seek to intervene.
But the overwhelming UN general assembly vote threw out Russia’s call for deferment and its amendment.
The Russian move, at the outset of the two-day “summit for the future”, looked diplomatically clumsy, if perhaps designed for domestic consumption. It angered speakers from the African Union (AU) and Mexico, underlining that Moscow had only limited support, notably from Belarus, Venezuela, Syria and Iran.
The AU, led by the Democratic Republic of Congo, called for the Russian amendment to be rejected.
The pact is seen by many in the global south as both a well-intended and necessary collective effort at UN renewal as well as a personal legacy for a relatively popular UN secretary general António Guterres.
But the controversy underlined the extent to which ideological divisions have damaged multilateral cooperation at the UN, the very issue that the pact was seeking to address.
Russia objected to 25 provisions in the draft pact, including asserting the primacy of national jurisdiction and rejecting language on universal access to sexual and reproductive health rights, as well as gender empowerment more broadly.
With the Russian move crushed, Guterres told the summit that the pact’s aim was “to bring multilateralism back from the brink at a time when the world [is] heading off the rails”. Twenty-first-century challenges – from debt in developing countries to the climate crisis – required 21st-century solutions.
Graham Gordon, head of global advocacy at Christian Aid, said of the pact: “The key point of the document, given its inherent limits, is that it does provide pointers of what should be achieved in other forums including the IMF, at Cop and at the G20. The key test will be in 12 months in assessing how much momentum this provides. It is a striking document in its admission of how multilateralism is currently failing.”
Guterres had advocated for a Summit for the Future more than two years ago as an attempt to persuade world leaders in the wake of the global Covid outbreak that cooperation and multilateralism had to be revived.
The pact, spanning 26 pages and 56 recommendations, says it is offering a new beginning for multilateralism and repeatedly asserts the primacy of international law. But the lack of new specifics has weakened its impact.
The document covers reform and expansion of the UN security council to make the body more representative of the 21st century, a UN role in governing artificial intelligence, the phasing out of fossil fuels in energy systems, reform of multilateral financial institutions, a recommitment to full nuclear disarmament and modernising UN peacekeeping so it evolves into war prevention.
Concrete ideas include a biennial UN summit on the global economy, an emergency platform for managing pandemics, food insecurity and environmental disasters, and a new UN oversight body of experts advising on the risks posed by AI for all economies.
A major sticking point was western opposition to the UN playing a role in making international financial institutions more representative. A UN-led push to include a reference to a $500bn (£375bn) stimulus to put the sustainable development goals back on track was also rejected.
At least two students at Gettysburg College in Pennsylvania have been suspended from the swim team after a report that a racial slur was scratched onto a studentâs body, officials said.
Officials received âa deeply concerning report of a racial slur being scratched on to a student using a plastic or ceramic tool,â officials at the liberal arts school said in a statement last week.
âThis is a serious report, which is being actively assessed through the student conduct process,â the college said. âAt this point, the students involved are not participating in swim team activities.â
The school declined to release further details, citing the investigation and privacy laws.
However, a family of the victim contacted the Gettysburgian last week to give more details. They said the student had the N-word cut into their chest by someone they âtrustedâ. The victimâs family say they consider the incident a hate crime. They also said the victim was the only person of color at the scene.
âThe reprehensible act was committed by a fellow student-athlete, someone he considered his friend, someone whom he trusted. This student used a box cutter to etch the N-word across his chest,â the family told the Gettysburgian.
They added: âAs we wait to discuss the decisions made by college staff, the harm continues without much relief. Media outlets (social, online, and broadcast) continue to perpetuate misinformation stemming from an act of racial animus. In the same vein, the isolation that pairs with being isolated from many in the Gettysburg College community that he had come to trust deepens the harm.
âWe want to be clear that we understand that an investigation should not be rushed. We support a fair and thorough investigation. To this end, we appreciate the standardized procedures and protocols that are in place. We know that they are meant to ensure that the rights and responsibilities of all parties involved are maintained and protected.â
Gettysburg College president Robert Iuliano said he felt âprofound distress about what happenedâ and the impact on the implications âfor a community continuing its evolving efforts to create a truly inclusive environment.â
âNo matter the relationship, and no matter the motivation, there is no place on this campus for words or actions that demean, degrade, or marginalize based on oneâs identity and history,â he said in a statement that also cautioned against speculation âbased on fragments of information that may or may not be accurate.â
The cityâs police chief, Robert Glenny Jr, said he contacted the college after hearing news reports and was told the victim chose to handle the matter through the collegeâs internal process, despite college officials encouraging the person to take the matter to police, WGAL-TV reported.
Gretchen Whitmer, the governor of Michigan, called Donald Trump âjust derangedâ on Sunday after he said women would no longer be thinking about abortion if he is elected as president in November.
âThis guy just doesnât understand what the average woman is confronting in her life in this country, and how could he? Heâs not lived a normal life,â Whitmer said in an interview on CNNâs State of the Union.
Whitmer also reaffirmed her support for Kamala Harris, describing her as a person âwho has worked hourly jobs, who knows how important it is that women have healthcare and access to the medical care that they needâ.
Whitmer was asked to comment about a speech the former president delivered on Saturday, saying women âwill be happy, healthy, confident, and freeâ if he is elected president.
âHeâs just deranged,â the governor of Michigan said.
On Friday, Trump made similar comments about women on his Truth Social platform.
âWOMEN ARE POORER THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO, ARE LESS HEALTHY THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO ⦠AND ARE LESS OPTIMISTIC AND CONFIDENT IN THE FUTURE THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO!â Trump said.
Harris is a staunch supporter of abortion rights. The vice-president delivered two speeches on Friday, first in Georgia and then Wisconsin, highlighting the case of Amber Thurman, who died in Georgia due to a strict abortion ban.
Whitmerâs comments on Sunday come a week after participating in an online campaign event with TV host, producer and author Oprah Winfrey, which was livestreamed nationally from Michigan.
The Michigan governor was previously named as a possible candidate for the Democratic nomination for president before ruling herself out in July. Michigan is a must-win prize for candidates, a state that has voted for the presidential winner in the last four national elections.
Joe Biden took Michigan by 154,000 votes in 2020. Two years later, Whitmer defeated a Trump-backed candidate and Democrats took full control for the first time in 45 years.
45+2 min There was a VAR check for a potential foul by Martinelli on Ederson, but the goal stands. Martinelli knew what he was doing, no question, but all he really did was stand his ground. With the current threshold it was never going to be overturned.
Ruben Dias has been booked, presumably for dissent.
It was exactly the same corner as the one in the 38th minute, but this time Gabriel got the header on target. He lost Kyle Walker â who was playing silly buggers before the corner was taken, patting Gabriel repeatedly â far too easily near the penalty spot. Saka again put the ball right under the crossbar, Ederson was blocked by Martinelli and Gabriel roared onto the scene to head in from three yards.
GOAL! Man City 1-2 Arsenal (Gabriel 45+1)
If at first you donât succeedâ¦
45 min Saka releases the overlapping Rice, who wins another corner for Arsenal. Theyâre dominating the game just now.
44 min City have lost much of their snap since the equaliser, though they are still dominating possession. Half-time will come at a good moment for them.
42 min: Chance for Arsenal! Gabriel decides to play Beckenbauer, strolling forward and sliding a slick return pass to release Martinelli on the left. He gets behind Walker and cuts the ball back sharply to Trossard, who shoots over from 15 yards on the stretch. It was an awkward ball to take first time but weâve seen Trossard score not dissimilar chances in the past.
Martinelli has been Arsenalâs most dangerous attacker by a fair distance.
41 min âIâd like to know what the ref said during that break,â says Mark Childs. âWalker (and Saka) has just been instructed as captain âtell your players to calm downâ, then shouldnât he be given the time to do so?â
I donât know about that, but he should have been given more time to get back to right-back. You can understand why City were so angry.
40 min City have had 72 per cent of the possession, which is remarkable, although Arsenal are probably having their best spell of the half as I type.
38 min: Chance for Arsenal! Saka curls a fantastic inswinging corner to the far post, where Gabriel heads over from barely four yards. What a chance! Ederson was out of the game, on the floor after running into Martinelli, so Gabriel only needed to get over the ball to score.
37 min Timber plays a good return pass to Saka, forcing Gvardiol to concede a corner. Itâs Arsenalâs first, I think, and we know how dangerous they are at set-pieces.
36 min Doku gets involved for the first time, playing a quick give-and-go with Gvardiol before hitting a shot from the edge of the area that deflects behind. Savinhoâs inswinger is headed away by Havertz.
34 min One big plus for Arsenal is that Timber has played Doku beautifully so far. Talking of Doku, he seems to kick the ball away but isnât booked by Michael Oliver.
Trossard is given a yellow card for a tactical foul on Savinho. No argument with that.
32 min Weâve just seen a replay of the Arsenal goal. Kyle Walker was fuming because the referee called him and Bukayo Saka over in their role as captains, then allowed Arsenal to release Martinelli from the free-kick before Walker was able to get back.
Walker was also a bit slow to return to his position before the free-kick was taken. I can see both sides!
31 min Arsenalâs goal was a thing of peculiar beauty but that aside they have done very little in possession. Theyâve defended a lot deeper since Haalandâs goal and are doing that part pretty well.
30 min A crisp 30-yarder from Walker is saved comfortably by Raya, diving to his right.
29 min Savinho beats Calafiori again and crosses early towards Haaland. Saliba gets across to make an important header. Calafiori has had a pretty torrid time in his day job, but his side hustle is going swimmingly.
28 min After a couple of minutes of frothing and foaming, City have picked up where they left off before Rodriâs injury. Thereâs still a spiteful edge to the match though, and thereâs a fair chance it wonât end 1-1 or 11v11.
27 min âI know youâve got the pace to handle Haaland, but isnât he a bit taller than you?â says Joe Pearson. âNo offence.â
Yeah but you know what they say: the first two feet are in the head.
26 min Imagine.
25 min Well thatâs changed the mood. Until that point City had been rampant.
24 min Itâs very rare that a player finds the top corner with an outswinger rather than an inswinger. Even rarer when itâs a left-back making his full debut.
City are furious about something but Riccardo Calafiori has just scored a screamer on his full debut. Partey took a quick free kick to find Martinelli in space on the left. He made good ground, then cut inside and laid the ball back to Calafiori just outside the area. Calafiori walked onto the ball and curled an extravagant left-foot shot that beat Ederson and nestled in the far corner. What a goal!
Pep Guardiola kicks a seat in frustration, while Ederson has been booked. City werenât happy because they thought the free-kick was taken 10 yards away from where the original foul took place.
GOAL! Man City 1-1 Arsenal (Calafiori 22)
What the hell has just happened?
21 min: Man City substitution Mateo Kovacic replaces Rodri and immediately dispenses some three-fingered tactical advice.
The break allows Michael Oliver to have a word with both captains. It has been a very niggly start to the game.
21 min âJust as the Great White Shark is a brutal, efficient hunter killer, so Haaland is regarding scoring goals,â says Mary Waltz. âWho can stop him?â
Me, but Mikel wonât answer my bloody WhatsApps.
20 min Rodri is on his feet and limping very slowly to the touchline. His afternoon is over; letâs just hope it isnât a serious injury.
18 min Rodri is sitting up now but looks pretty distressed â more, I suspect, because of the nature of the damage rather than the actual pain. He jarred his right leg as he fell and immediately clutched it when he hit the floor.
17 min The players were jockeying for position at a corner. Partey was tracking Rodri, they collided and then Rodri fell really awkwardly. I fear he has injured knee ligaments.
16 min Rodri is down again, this time holding the back of his leg. The City players have called for the physio. This doesnât look good at all.
16 min Arsenal are under all kinds of pressure, and at the moment this game feels more 2022-23 than 2023-24.
15 min: Gundogan hits the post! It was a fine free-kick, curled round the side of the wall. Raya flew desperately to his left and the ball thumped off the outside of the post. Had that been on target I think it would have gone in.
Four people have died and more than 20 were wounded in a shooting in a nightlife area in Birmingham, Alabama, according to police and news reports.
The violence is just the latest shocking incident that highlights the epidemic of gun violence and killings that continues to plague the US and yet prompts little to no political action.
Police said say multiple victims in the mass killing were caught in crossfire and offered an reward for information leading to the arrest of those involved.
There were multiple people shot on 20th Street near Magnolia Avenue in the Five Points South area, the Birmingham police department said in a social media post.
The shooting happened shortly after 11pm on Saturday in the city’s Five Points South entertainment district, the officer Truman Fitzgerald said in an email.
Officers arriving at the scene found two men and a woman on a sidewalk with gunshot wounds, and they were pronounced dead there. An additional male gunshot victim was pronounced dead at a hospital, Fitzgerald said.
A preliminary investigation showed that “multiple suspects fired upon a large group of people who were outside in a public area”, Fitzgerald said.
“Detectives believe the shooting was not random and stemmed from an isolated incident where multiple victims were caught in the crossfire,” Fitzgerald said.
Injured people began showing up at hospitals, Fitzgerald said. By early Sunday, police had identified 18 other victims with injuries, some of them life-threatening.
Some victims were transported to hospitals in private vehicles, police told WBMA.
The Five Points South area of Birmingham has numerous entertainment venues, restaurants and bars and often is crowded on Saturday nights.
Police said there were no immediate arrests.
“We will do everything we possibly can to make sure we uncover, identify and hunt down whoever is responsible for preying on our people this morning,” Fitzgerald told WBMA.
The US has a high rate of mass shootings, which frequently prompts public calls for more substantial gun control. But the US federal government has generally been unwilling or unable to heed those calls.
The gun rights lobby remains strong in the US and its power over politicians who try to enforce tighter gun laws is formidable.
In June the conservative-dominated supreme court struck down a federal ban on “bump stocks”, accessories which can allow a semiautomatic gun to fire as fast as a machine gun. Following the 6-3 decision Joe Biden condemned the ruling, saying it “strikes down an important gun safety regulation”.
Society tells us that love stories should be linear, that marriage is until death us do part. Weâve learned, though, that things are often a little more complicated. The average adult may have five relationships and fall in love with three people (bad news for two of the five, then). Divorce has recently neared the 50% rate in the UK, a percentage that is now falling, mostly because fewer can afford it. Despite these statistics, we are still fed the idea that the ultimate goal is to find âthe oneâ. Is it any wonder then, that divorce is often viewed as a failure?
We see the âsuccess storiesâ of life in long love and we wince at messy divorces â what we see less is the grey area in between. A large number of couples separate and then reunify, and a surprising amount also divorce and then remarry. The term âdivorce regretâ has been circulating recently after golfer Rory McIlroy called his marriage off and then back on. There are the notable couples who married, then did it all over again; Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera, Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. Elon Musk and his ex, British actor Talulah Riley, walked down the aisle twice, too.
Thereâs also Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, who were engaged in 2002, separated for nearly two decades, then finally married in June 2022, 20 years after their initial engagement. This August, after two years of marriage, they divorced.
Yet the drama of the double wedding is not only for the rich and famous. Divorce followed by reunification is relatively common, with between 10 and 15% of couples reconciling after they separate and about 6% of couples marrying each other once again. One in 10 people who divorce say they regret it at some point. On Mumsnet, a user shares that she is thinking about divorcing her husband but is terrified sheâll regret it. Many share their own regret in response (except one, who writes: âRegret yeah⦠Regret not doing it 10 years earlier.â)
The couples remarrying after divorce offer the idea that it is possible to come through pain, anger and mourning to reach another outcome. Take Karen and Louis Beardsworth, who met in their early 20s, had been married for more than 20 years and had two daughters by the time they divorced in 2015. After five years apart and a lot of therapy, they walked down the aisle for a second time.
âAt the first wedding we had about 40 guests, at a register office in the town I grew up in. I wore a three-quarter-length cream dress,â remembers Karen. âThe second time around we married in South Africa with no one there except us. The venue was a bit strange â like one of those chapels in Las Vegas. We got the giggles because they had all these soppy, romantic placards up on the walls.â
Their laughter may have acknowledged the irony that this was âtake twoâ, but could there be something even more romantic about that fact? For their second wedding, they chose the same date as the first time around. âWe thought it would be easier to remember the anniversary,â says Karen, smiling, but there was also a kind of poetry to choosing the same day, she adds, like things had come full circle. âAfter time apart, it felt as if we were marrying more as the people we actually are, rather than the people we thought we should be,â says Louis.
If 42% of marriages end in divorce, there is the question of why we do it to begin with, beyond the legal benefits and tax breaks. As a sex and relationships therapist with the charity Relate, Ammanda Major has spent much of her career working with relationship struggles, helping people find a way out, or through. âWe get married because, mostly, it feels like the right thing to do, whether thatâs due to romantic, cultural, idealised thinking or just seeking evidence of that attachment that so many of us seek,â she reflects. âHope reigns eternal that our partner will love us always. As human beings that is a seriously compelling reason to get hitched.â The majority of people getting married believe itâs for keeps. âThatâs because by then weâve already become fully invested in the person we are marrying and hopefully them with us.â
The problems, says Major, often arise when the person we are marrying, or the marriage itself, does not meet our expectations. âSometimes expectations of being married are so high they canât possibly be met and so disappointment and resentment soon make themselves apparent, which then negatively impacts on the ability to work on problems effectively together.â
This was the case for Karen and Louis: âGetting married should be about two people, but it turns into a theatre â and then there are expectations that come with that,â says Louis. The marriage broke down after Louis, working as a pilot and travelling a great deal, had an affair. âI was emotionally dysfunctional, under a lot of pressure and compartmentalising my family to have relationships outside my marriage. It was a toxic cocktail,â he admits now. When she found out, Karen decided to divorce Louis, in part to send a signal to her daughters that she â and all women â deserved better.
Yet, when a marriage buckles under the weight of expectation, the script of how things should be, regret is a natural response, says Major. âPeople quite often have regrets about separation or experience a sense of failure, shame, sadness, a lot of âif onlyâ,â she says. âWe can regret a situation even though we knew it was the right one.â Regret isnât always a bad thing, she adds. It can prompt an opportunity to look at how our needs might have changed, what could be new in our lives, or give us clarity about the past. âThe challenge is sorting through these complex emotions and questions to understand whether to close a door or attempt to ease it open once more.â
When Major began her work, therapy was not as prevalent as it is today. The popular US TV show Couples Therapy airs couplesâ problems â literally â as does celebrity relationship therapist Esther Perel on her hugely popular podcast. Then thereâs the burgeoning industry of self-help gurus promising to help individuals rekindle with their ex (at a price). As well as the financial cost of divorce, according to Major, the rising awareness and uptake in therapy may be contributing to a fall in divorce rates.
For Karen and Louis, who accessed therapy together and then separately, talking things through with an independent party saved the relationship. In therapy, Karen established she needed independence and space to think about what she really wanted her future to look like. Louis, meanwhile, embarked on 18 months of psychotherapy. âI learned that I was not a happy person, for a bunch of reasons.â As someone raised in a very conventional background, with emotionally distant parents, Louis says he was inhibited about discussing his feelings in a way that was bad for relationships. In therapy, Karen and Louis had revelations about who they were as people, both separately and together.
Perelâs quote resonates with Ebele, who married, divorced and then remarried her lifelong love, Rich. The couple met at a summer camp in the US as teenagers in the early 90s, and started dating. However, because Rich was younger, they decided to remain friends. When the millennium was approaching, Rich started sending gifts to Ebele, who was by then living in London. The coy courtship worked; one night, they unexpectedly slept together, moving in together that same week, and marrying just two years later. âWe agreed on what marriage meant to us: not gazing into one anotherâs eyes all the time, but wanting our lives to be a shared adventure.â
The couple honoured these intentions as best they could; they lived separately for periods and travelled extensively before having children. Yet, starting a family complicated things: âHaving kids is a joy, a blessing and a privilege, but itâs also really hard, especially the way itâs done in the west, where youâre not so much in communities with parents and aunts and uncles around.â Ebele remembers how, after she had each kid, their sex life would shut down for a time. In 2020, after 16 years as husband and wife, she felt that she and Rich had become more like friends. Their divorce was amicable. âWe had a better divorce than most marriages, we lived in walking distance, were dating other people and coparenting smoothly.â
Ebele jokes that there is a âchaos phaseâ after divorce, something like a second youth. Then, you reach a point where you can sit with your feelings for long enough to understand them. Two realisations hit her. âA friend who is an artist said that if you have a creative gift and donât use it or suppress it, it can eat you up inside. I remember thinking, âThis is Rich, he was an artist, but he was always trying to do the adult thing, he wasnât fully himself.ââ Ebele was also able to recognise that the grief of her brotherâs death in a racially motivated police shooting in 2018 had impacted the marriage. âAnother friend said one thing that happens in grief is creating distance from the person youâre most scared of losing. No one had ever said that to me. There was a way I felt at the end of the marriage, like Iâm not fighting for this, which I now recognise was about me creating distance.â Distance allowed Ebele and Rich the perspective to see that they were better off together, life had just come in the way.
Throughout the process of separation, and also reunification, Ebele noticed that, while marriage can feel insular, the people in your life always have opinions on it. Friendsâ feelings were mixed. âWhen we divorced, people took it badly, they were devastated, said, âBut you guys are like Black love incarnate.â When we told them we were getting together again there was joy, some said, âYou owe us a partyâ and others said, âEverything about this is very you guys: slightly off,â she laughs. Karen experienced a stronger sense of judgment. âI lost two good long-term girlfriends, because I got back together with Louis. They were very judgmental. They felt I hadnât taken their advice.â
Judgment from others piles on top of the judgments we place on ourselves when it comes to marriage and divorce. Stay together for the kids, try harder, donât walk away. Fear of being alone also leaves people trapped in relationships, says Major, and can spur a sense of regret if we do leave. âBut no matter the situation, the first bit of the problem-solving is what may have gone wrong,â the therapist explains. âPeople fantasise about what life would be like if they got back together again, but without understanding what didnât work, people may find they go back into those relationships and the same problems emerge.â Bar a situation of domestic violence or abuse, where there is one person responsible, she says, usually we each have a part to play in relationship dissatisfaction.
For those experiencing divorce regret, Major offers advice on how to sort out what is missing someone, loneliness, or a genuine mistake. She believes self-reflection and, if possible, therapy can be instrumental in finding answers to these questions. âWeâre social human beings â we seek connection and to be left or abandoned can have a profound toll on some peopleâs mental health or wellbeing.â Sitting with that, letting it settle, and also rebuilding self-worth can help people have a happy relationship going forward, she says, whoever it might be with.
While for many cheating is the final straw, for Karen, understanding the weight of expectation that marriage can bring helped her see things differently. âWe label people who have affairs as terrible, but itâs an extraordinary thing to be expected to spend your life with one person. I think what Iâve learned is that people need to be honest and open about where they are at, because you look at people who are unhappy in their relationships and you think: why arenât you changing anything?â For younger generations, she adds, there seems to be more openness and also equality. âSociety has changed so much. Women are far more likely to think of themselves first and more hesitant to jump into relationships because that is what they are âsupposedâ to do.â
Things are indeed changing, albeit slowly, agrees Major. At Relate, she and other therapists have adopted the term âmulti-partner relationship therapyâ to encompass the many constellations relationships can take. âPeople choose to live their lives now unmarried or with more than one partner, so itâs important to have a narrative that reflects how we live.â
At the Labour party conference last October Emily Thornberry committed to reforming the law on cohabiting couples to provide better protection (the outcome remains to be seen). Recently the law around divorce changed, too, points out lawyer David Allison. Since April 2023, couples can file for âno-faultâ divorce, stating that their marriage simply broke down. âThat has really changed things,â he comments, âbecause the requirement to state fault stirred up anger and resentment, resulting in a blame game.â
The change in law may provide yet another reason why couples are getting back together. Allison is familiar with the concept of divorce regret. Over his two-decades-long career, he has seen countless couples reunite. âItâs not uncommon for our clients to get back together, which is surprising when theyâve been slugging things out in court,â he explains. âBut I suppose sometimes the cause of unhappiness in a relationship goes away precisely because of the divorce.â He gives an example: a female client who had felt she lacked financial independence in her marriage. âThey divorced, reached a settlement, and then she started seeing her ex-husband again.â Similarly, he has seen people move in on their own and start dating their ex, enjoying a sense of novelty of this arrangement. Love is space, as the saying goes.
Karen and Louis lived apart for a while before moving back in together. âIt took a long time to rebuild trust and prove I wasnât the person I used to be,â says Louis, who brought up the idea to remarry: âI wanted it for a number of reasons, but mostly because it is a very clear commitment.â Now, happily married again since 2020, the couple say their kids like to tease them: âSo which anniversary is this, your 36th or your 4th?â But what have they ultimately learned from loving â and then loving one another again? Itâs that you must love yourself before you can love someone else. âI look at friends who have gone through divorce and are on their second and third marriages, but if you donât reflect on yourself, you may end up confronting the same issues with someone else,â says Karen. âPersonally, I needed to grow up and work out what I wanted rather than being the wife and the mother of the children. I was forced into that situation, which was actually great.â
Ebele and Karen look back on their separation as a positive thing. As well as an opportunity to establish independence, Ebele believes her marriage is different the second time around: âThereâs more room for experimentation, for us figuring out even further what we want out of marriage, it feels even more like adventure. The first time we thought it was forever, but now it really does feel that way⦠Especially as no one has any patience for us to do this again.â
Hezbollah strikes Israeli defence company’s industrial complexes in ‘initial response’ to pager attacks
William Christou
William Christou is reporting from the Lebanese capital, Beirut
Hezbollah has said it has struck industrial complexes belonging to Israeli defence company Rafael, just near Haifa, in northern Israel, early on Sunday morning.
The group said in a statement said the attack was part of an “initial response” to the pager and walkie-talkie attacks which left more than 3,000 wounded and 42 dead across Lebanon on Tuesday and Wednesday. It is widely believed that Israel was behind the attacks, though it has not publicly claimed responsibility.
Fighting in south Lebanon and north Israel reached its most intense yet overnight, with Israel launching wide-ranging air strikes which it said targeted Hezbollah missile launchers across Lebanon’s south.
Videos of the resulting explosions with visible shockwaves being filmed from afar widely circulated Lebanese social media. At least one was killed and another injured in the strikes, the Lebanese ministry of health said.
In turn, Hezbollah shot a barrage of rockets at north Israel overnight, targeting Ramat David airbase south east of Haifa in the early hours of Sunday morning — the furthest the group has hit since fighting began in October.
The renewed fighting comes days after Israeli defence minister Yoav Gallant said Israel was approaching a “new phase” in the war with Hezbollah. Secretary general of Hezbollah Hassan Nasrallah said in a Thursday speech that the intensified Israeli attacks would not stop the group from continuing its attacks on Israel, until a ceasefire in Gaza was reached.
Key events
Iran’s foreign minister, Abbas Araghchi, has been speaking to the media in New York ahead of the UN general assembly. According to the Hareetz reporter Allison Kaplan Sommer, he said Israel “has created a real hell in Gaza” and that “the crimes of the Zionist regime in Lebanon, even though they are being committed out of frustration, will not be left without response”.
“The main hurdle in achieving ceasefire and stopping this war has really been the support provided by the US and Western countries,” Araghchi said, as he blamed western support for Israel being able to continue its devastating military actions.
Gaza rescuers say Israeli strike on school shelter kills seven people
Al Jazeera has quoted Gaza’s civil defence as saying that seven people have been killed by Israeli bombing of the Kafr Qasim school in the al-Shati refugee camp in western Gaza City, which has been housing hundreds of displaced people.
Civil defence agency spokesperson Mahmud Bassal reported “seven martyrs and a number of wounded, including serious cases, as a result of Israeli shelling of Kafr Qasim school” in the refugee camp.
It follows reports of an attack yesterday on the al-Falah school in the al-Zeitoun neighborhood of Gaza City, in which 21 people, including 13 children, were killed, according to Wafa, the Palestinian news agency.
Trevor Phillips puts it to Isaac Herzog that Israel has been widely accused of being behind the deadly pager and walkie-talkie explosions in Lebanon last week, in which children were among those who were killed. Philips asks the Israeli president if this was a “legitimate way to prosecute a war”, given the fact there was no way of ensuring civilians were not killed in the attack. “I reject out of hand any connection to this or that source of operation,” Herzog said. He did not answer the question directly, but instead talked about the rocket attack – which Israel blamed on Hezbollah – that struck the predominantly Druze town of Majdal Shams in the mountainous Golan Heights, close to the border with Syria, in July, in which at least 12 people, including children, were killed. Herzog said that Israel, as a sovereign nation, has a right to defend itself.
Israel does not want war with Lebanon, Israeli president says
Israel’s president, Isaac Herzog, has been interviewed by Sky News’ Trevor Phillips on his Sunday morning politics programme in the UK. Herzog says that Israel “does not want war” with Lebanon, claiming that the conflict was “instigated” by Iranian proxies in the region, including Hezbollah and Yemen’s Houthis, as well as Hamas in Gaza.
“Israel is fighting for its well being, its existence, its citizens. That’s what we are doing. And we are doing whatever is the right thing to do,” he said, adding that Lebanon has been hijacked by Hezbollah, which he described as a “terror organisation”.
“It is being armed to its teeth by the Iranian empire of evil,” he said, stressing that Israel wants to bring Israeli hostages back from Gaza and to return Israeli citizens “back to their homes on the border with Lebanon”.
Israel’s military said on Sunday that it intercepted a “suspicious aerial target” launched from the east, and that no damage or injuries were reported.
Earlier, an official in the Islamic Resistance in Iraq, a loose coalition of Iranian-backed militias that oppose US support for Israel in the war on Gaza, said they launched cruise missile and explosive drone attacks at Israel.
Pro-Iranian militias in Iraq have claimed responsibility for drone attacks on Israel multiple times since the outbreak of war in Gaza almost a year ago.
You can read more about who the Islamic Resistance in Iraq are in this useful explainer by the Guardian’s defence and security editor, Dan Sabbagh, here:
Hezbollah strikes Israeli defence company’s industrial complexes in ‘initial response’ to pager attacks
William Christou
William Christou is reporting from the Lebanese capital, Beirut
Hezbollah has said it has struck industrial complexes belonging to Israeli defence company Rafael, just near Haifa, in northern Israel, early on Sunday morning.
The group said in a statement said the attack was part of an “initial response” to the pager and walkie-talkie attacks which left more than 3,000 wounded and 42 dead across Lebanon on Tuesday and Wednesday. It is widely believed that Israel was behind the attacks, though it has not publicly claimed responsibility.
Fighting in south Lebanon and north Israel reached its most intense yet overnight, with Israel launching wide-ranging air strikes which it said targeted Hezbollah missile launchers across Lebanon’s south.
Videos of the resulting explosions with visible shockwaves being filmed from afar widely circulated Lebanese social media. At least one was killed and another injured in the strikes, the Lebanese ministry of health said.
In turn, Hezbollah shot a barrage of rockets at north Israel overnight, targeting Ramat David airbase south east of Haifa in the early hours of Sunday morning — the furthest the group has hit since fighting began in October.
The renewed fighting comes days after Israeli defence minister Yoav Gallant said Israel was approaching a “new phase” in the war with Hezbollah. Secretary general of Hezbollah Hassan Nasrallah said in a Thursday speech that the intensified Israeli attacks would not stop the group from continuing its attacks on Israel, until a ceasefire in Gaza was reached.
Here are some of the latest images coming out of the newswires from northern Israel, where Hezbollah says it has fired rockets:
The Israeli army have continued attacks across southern and central Gaza today, killing at least seven Palestinians, according to Wafa, the Palestinian news agency.
Israeli artillery reportedly targeted the town of Khuza’a, east of the southern city Khan Younis, killing two people.
Emergency teams from the Palestinian Red Crescent later recovered the bodies of four people from the al-Attatirah area east of Rafah, after Israeli airstrikes.
In another attack, Wafa reports that one person was killed after an Israeli army quadcopter – a drone with four propellers – opened fire on civilians west of the Nuseirat refugee camp in central Gaza. These reports have not yet been independently verified by the Guardian.
Middle East is on brink of ‘imminent catastrophe’, UN official warns
The United Nations special coordinator for Lebanon, Jeanine Hennis-Plasschaert, has warned of an “imminent catastrophe” in the Middle East.
“With the region on the brink of an imminent catastrophe, it cannot be overstated enough: there is no military solution that will make either side safer,” she wrote in a brief statement on X.
Overnight barrage of Hezbollah rockets launched into Israel, IDF says
Welcome to our live coverage of Israel’s war in Gaza and the wider Middle East crisis.
Hezbollah launched more than 100 rockets early on Sunday from Lebanon targeting a wide area of northern Israel, according to Israel’s military, with some landing near the city of Haifa.
The rocket barrage overnight set off air raid sirens across northern Israel, sending thousands of people scrambling into shelters. The Israeli military said rockets had been fired “toward civilian areas”, pointing to a possible escalation after previous barrages had mainly been aimed at military targets.
In posts on X, the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) said Lebanon launched two waves of attacks – the first about 85 rockets where some of them were intercepted, including crashes detected in the areas of Kiryat Bialik, Tzur Shalom and Moroshet. The second attack included 20 rockets after alerts were issued in the in the Jezreel Valley area, according to the IDF.
Israel’s Magen David Adom rescue service said it treated four people for shrapnel wounds, including a 76-year-old man who suffered minor injuries in Kiryat Bialik, a community near Haifa where buildings were damaged and cars set on fire. It was not immediately clear if the damage was caused by a rocket or an Israeli interceptor.
Earlier, the Israeli military said it launched airstrikes on hundreds of targets in southern Lebanon in the wake of the deepest rocket attacks by Hezbollah into Israel since the start of the war in Gaza last October. The IDF said on Saturday night it launched two wave of attacks – one attacking about 290 targets, and a second targeting 110 sites.
Earlier, Hezbollah posted on its Telegram channel that it had targeted the Israeli Ramat David airbase near Haifa on Saturday night with dozens of missiles in response to what it described as “repeated Israeli attacks on Lebanon”.
The airbase is the furthest target the Lebanese group has hit in Israel since October, about 50km from the Lebanon-Israel border.
Here is a recap of the latest developments:
Hospitals in northern Israel have been instructed to transfer their operations to facilities with extra protection from rocket and missile fire, the health ministry said on Sunday. Rambam hospital in Haifa will transfer patients to its underground, secure facility, the ministry said. Meanwhile, the military’s Home Front Command said schools and other educational institutions and activities would not be permitted in the north until at least Monday at 6pm local time.
The death toll from an Israeli airstrike that targeted Hezbollah military commanders in Beirut’s southern suburbs has risen to 45, Lebanon’s health ministry said on Sunday, updating an earlier toll of 37 from the Friday attack.
News broadcaster Al Jazeera said on Sunday morning that Israeli forces raided its bureau in the West Bank’s Ramallah city with a military order to close it for 45 days. The Qatar-based channel aired live footage of the Israeli troops entered the channel’s office and handed over a closure order to one of the Al Jazeera TV staff. Al Jazeera’s West Bank bureau chief, Walid al-Omari, reported that Israeli troops brought a truck to confiscate documents, devices and office property. In a statement, the Palestinian Journalists’ Syndicate condemned the raid, saying “this arbitrary military decision is considered a new violation against journalistic and media works”.
The US state department has urged Americans in Lebanon to leave the country while commercial options remain available. “At this time, commercial flights are available, but at reduced capacity. If the security situation worsens, commercial options to depart may become unavailable,” it added.
The death toll from an Israeli strike on Saturday on a school-turned-shelter in Gaza city included “13 children and six women”, one of whom was pregnant, said civil defence agency spokesperson Mahmud Bassal. The Gaza health ministry said at least 22 had died as a result of the strike.
US national security adviser Jake Sullivan said he was worried about escalation between Israel and Lebanon. Sullivan, speaking with reporters in Wilmington, Delaware, said yesterday that he still sees a path to a ceasefire in Gaza but that the US is “not at a point right now where we’re prepared to put something on the table”.
Attacks on Lebanon this week showed that the Israeli government planned to spread the war to the region, Turkey’s president Recep Tayyip Erdoğan said, calling on western countries to take “deterrent steps” against Israel’s actions. Erdoğan told a press conference that Israel’s war in Gaza will top the agenda of his speech at the UN general assembly on Tuesday. “It is time for all countries with the mission of protecting world peace to come up with solutions that will stop Israel,” Erdoğan said.
Iran unveiled its “jihad” single-stage liquid-fuel ballistic missile with a high-explosive detachable warhead and a range of 1,000km, according to state TV. The missiles were displayed on Saturday, along with other military hardware, during a parade marking the anniversary of the start of the 1980-88 war with Iraq.
At least 41,391 Palestinians have been killed and 95,760 injured in Israel’s military offensive on Gaza since 7 October, Gaza’s health ministry said on Saturday. Gaza’s ministry of health does not distinguish between civilians and militants in its count.
Israel’s prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, postponed his trip to the US by a day due to the security situation in the country’s north. Netanyahu was due to travel to New York on 24 September, during which he is expected to address the annual UN general assembly. He issued a short statement after the Beirut airstrike, saying: “Our goals are clear, and our actions speak for themselves.”
Anthony Joshua suffered a shocking knockout loss to Daniel Dubois, his far less celebrated British rival, on an extraordinary night at Wembley Stadium. It was a crushing defeat for Joshua who was knocked down in the first round and then utterly dominated and sent repeatedly to the canvas. The brutal end was finally sealed in the fifth round when, just as Joshua tried to turn the tide of a one-sided beating, Dubois landed two shattering right hands which resulted in a conclusive stoppage.
Even though Dubois was the nominal IBF world heavyweight champion, he walked to the ring first in a clear sign that he was meant to play a supporting role to the Joshua Show in front of 96,000 fans. Dubois had never experienced such a searing atmosphere before but he looked composed and determined as he climbed through the ropes. But he had a long wait before his more exalted rival joined him.
A Joshua fight entrance is always overblown and makes some of us yearn for those long-lost nights when Mike Tyson, shirtless and in black trunks, walked menacingly and silently on his own to the ring. Dubois would soon replicate the bad intentions and percussive force which once personified Tyson.
At least Joshua looked concentrated but the laboured prelude dragged on through the anthems and ritual introductions. Dubois was booed while Joshua was cheered deliriously before, finally, they were alone in the ring. An astonishing fight was about to unfold.
Dubois was the early aggressor and he stalked Joshua. He looked confident and full of intent as he backed up Joshua. Dubois was warned for excessive use of his head but his fists presented the most serious danger. A huge overhand right nailed Joshua, dropping him heavily near the end of the first round.
The contest changed in that shattering moment as Joshua looked badly dazed, even though he was saved by the bell.
Joshua was reeling early in the second as Dubois pressured him with ferocious force. A worried and sickly expression was etched across Joshua’s face and he was again hurt by a right and a clubbing left. Dubois soon caught him again and an anxious hum spread through the stunned crowd.
As they came out for the third Joshua tried to change the pattern of the fight behind his jab. His supporters also attempted to rouse him after such a rocky opening but then Dubois landed another monstrous left hand. Joshua wobbled and tottered against the ropes. He again needed to be rescued by the bell.
Joshua was dropped again early in the fourth round as a scything left sent him tumbling to the canvas. It seemed as if the referee was about to wave the fight over even though Joshua beat his chest in sad and lonely defiance.
They were allowed to continue and the slow, pitiless beating continued as Joshua absorbed yet more punishment.
The decisive round showed the courage of a former champion. Joshua rallied, briefly, and he hurt Dubois for the first time as he landed a jolting right which rocked the younger man. But facing that desperate burst of fire, Dubois responded with clinical authority. He landed successive heavy right hands which left Joshua a crumpled and broken figure on the canvas.
Despair for Joshua and his backers was swamped by elation for Dubois, who can finally claim that he became a world champion in the ring as he retained the IBF title which had been gifted to him three months ago with this stunning victory. The real king of the division remains Oleksandr Usyk who, four months ago, became the first undisputed world heavyweight champion of the 21st century when he won the IBF, WBA, WBC and WBO belts in a riveting contest against Tyson Fury.
But, in a typically shameless act of boxing chicanery, the IBF soon stripped Usyk of its title because he was already contracted to fight Fury again in December and unable to box their mandatory contender first. The IBF handed its championship as a present to Dubois, whom Usyk defeated last August, and set up his first defence against Joshua.
But Dubois deserves to savour the sweetness of his remarkable victory while, in contrast, the 34-year-old Joshua will be devastated. His admirable but flawed career is now much closer to ending after he was beaten so violently by a hungry fighter who is seven years younger than him.
Wembley had once belonged, in boxing terms, to Joshua, but this is a hard and unforgiving business. Dubois was simply too strong, too fresh and far too powerful for a lost and fallen champion.