At the beginning of 2000 I moved to Christchurch in Aotearoa New Zealand to study midwifery. I had been a volunteer firefighter before, so I decided to live in my old hometown of Lyttelton while I was studying so I could join their local fire brigade.
It had been more than 10 years since I had lived there but not much had changed. It still had that small-town vibe where everyone knew each other. I fronted up for training night at the brigade and recognised quite a few faces, still the same, just a bit older. There was a very tall, handsome young guy standing at the back who I recognised as Grant. He looked very shy and serious but when he smiled it was like turning a light on. His mum and my mum had been friends when we were younger, but we didnât hang out in the same circles; I was seven years older than him and we went to different schools.
I had been in the brigade for a few months when we had a function at the fire station and, with the courage of a few drinks in me, I danced with Grant to Neil Diamondâs Forever in Blue Jeans. By the end of the night, I was a bit wobbly on my feet and he did the gentlemanly thing and escorted me home.
A couple of days later he called and invited me to go to the movies with him. He later said it took many attempts at picking up the phone and putting it down before he managed to make the call (this was back in the days of telephones with handsets).
The date was âniceâ, not earth-shattering and I could tell he was nervous, but I could sense the attraction between us. We went to a Bruce Willis film, The Whole Nine Yards, which was a good choice because Iâm a fan of his action movies. (Several years later I bought a DVD of the movie as an anniversary present.)
I was 32 and a single mum with a seven-year-old son. I had no plans to settle down â I had goals and plans for a future that did not include marriage and more children, and truly believed that ship had sailed. Grant was 25, had just returned from a trip overseas and was taking off again. Like me, he had no intention of settling down any time soon.
On our second date, Grant included my son, Jesse, and took us ice-skating. It was Jesseâs first time at an ice-skating rink and Grant held Jesseâs hands while skating backwards so he could guide Jesse along the ice while everyone else zoomed around them. Grant was calm and considerate and made Jesse feel important and safe, which absolutely melted my heart.
It was such a weird feeling. I had never considered getting married, but in that instant, watching him patiently teaching my boy how to skate, all I knew was that Grant was a genuinely good man and I didnât want to let him get away. He was the one.
The next day friends asked how the date went. I surprised them â and myself â when I said: âIâm going to marry him and have his children.â
Six weeks later we were engaged, and nine months after that we married under a huge kahikatea tree in February on the hottest day of the year, with my son as my best man, and our friends, family and dogs gathered together. The band played a Neil Diamond song for our first dance together as husband and wife.
Soon after that, we bought our first house. I marvelled at how much Grantâs life had changed in one short year. He had gone from being a young, single guy with a two-seater sports car to having a wife, a young son, a mortgage ⦠and a baby on the way. I always said itâs lucky he has big shoulders because that was a lot to carry!
We have built a chaotic, beautiful life together through the hard times and the good. We have six amazing children, lots of animals and live in a beautiful part of Aotearoa New Zealand. Twenty-four years later, his smile still lights up my world. He will always be âthe oneâ â and we still dance together to Neil Diamond.
